Thrilled to be Home

Where do I start?

Friday and Saturday were a blur with all of our flights from Addis to London to Philadelphia to Dayton.  We traveled for 32 hours striaght and were totally spent by the time we made it home last night.

First and foremost, we cleared customs and immigration in a matter of minutes in Philadelphia yesterday afternoon.  Sofani was fingerprinted (you could tell this was a first), processed and welcomed to the US. 

During our travel day we enjoyed observing his reaction to everything.  London Heathrow airport is enough to overwhelm anyone.  Sofani had his first encounter with escalators and people mover walkways.  The shops at the airport had him in awe – Burberry, Ted Baker of London, new book stores, etc.  It’s a far cry from the markets on the streets of Addis or Mikelle.  He wanted ice cream for dinner (only the second time he’s had it in his life).  How could I say “no?”  We ordered two scoops. 

He got into Staci’s SUV at the airport and was amazed at the TV in the vehicle.  We were going down the interstate and he pointed out the sunroof.  He stood up and stuck his head out of the car at 70 mph.  It was fun listening to him laugh as the wind blew his eyes shut and forced him back into the car.  We were hungry and we had to welcome him to America we had to stop by McDonalds.  He laughed as we talked to a box to order food and promptly devastated a cheeseburger and large fry with no problem.  McDonalds is universal – everyone loves it.

As we turned onto our road he knew we were close because he was following Staci’s navigation system the entire way home.   The excitement was palpable.  He was about to jump out of his skin.  We pulled onto our lane to find that our house had been decorated by our friends.  Welcome signs everywhere.  I’ve never felt so welcome at my own house (if that makes any sense).  I’m sure he felt the love as it clearly showed him how many people were ready to welcome him to our extended family and community.

My grandma, Joan, and Staci’s father, Tom were at the house when we arrived.  They were making the handoff with our 5-year old bundle of blond curls that we missed so much over the past week – our dear Anna.  (By the way – a HUGE “thank you” to my sister Julie and our family in Marion for watching Anna for the entire time we were away.  We owe you!)  Tom and Grandma Joan welcomed him with big hugs and kisses and he was very happy to meet his new sister.  Anna’s job was to show Sofani around the house and that’s what happened next. 

When I say we were blown away by our friends I mean it.  Blown away.  We were so exhausted that the love from our dear group of friends and family who weren't physically here to greet us easily turned into tears.  We could feel your presence.

There were signs everywhere from friends from our community – the staff at church, friends of ours, etc.  Bright, colorful signs welcoming Sofani to his new home and community.  I don’t know how many there are to be exact but they’re everywhere.  The refrigerator was stocked, supplies bought and the pantry was full.  We are so very grateful.  I can’t express how much it means to us to have so many wonderful friends and such a supportive family and community.

Sofani was excited to see his bunk bed which had been meticulously constructed by Paw Paw Tom and decorated by his new loving mother.  He has pictures of himself as a baby, his parents, his aunt, etc. (thank you to Kim, mother to Sofani’s sister Liya in Texas).  He loved his new room and was shocked when he opened the closet door to see all of the clothes.  His name was painted on the driveway on the basketball court along with Jackson’s (thank you to Chris Willis). 

Anna toured him throughout the house and he couldn’t stop smiling.  He couldn’t believe the fresh fruit, the full fridge, the big screen television and the pool.  He made a quick change of clothes and we were swimming until midnight.  Sofani is determined to figure out how to swim.  I think it will be a matter of hours before this happens. 

We finally tucked everyone in and said prayers around 1 AM.  We were exhausted.  Wonder when he woke up?  4 AM.  That’s right.  It was just like Christmas morning at the Buck’s house today.  He showered, went outside to ride his new bike, chasing Anna and Jackson around the house with a toy rifle, playing pool, ate a bowl of Fruit Loops and went out to the pier.  He woke Staci and me up at 7 AM.  Any other day I would have rolled over and begged for a few more minutes of sleep but I couldn’t do it.  He wants to go swimming.  He wants to go fishing.  He is thrilled to be here.  He cannot stop smiling and laughing.  It is the most excited I have ever seen anyone – hands down.

Now we are going to soak it all up. 

I cannot adequately express my sincere thanks to our family, friends, church and community throughout this process.  Never in our lives have Staci and I felt so much love and support.  We have meals coming every evening for the next couple of weeks from members of our church.  It’s unbelievable.  We are truly blessed.

What’s next?  This kid has more energy and interest in learning new things than Staci and I will be able to keep up with in the days and weeks to come.  If you’ve ever been one of those people that have said, “Let me know what I can do to help” – your time has come.  We’re going to take all of you up on that offer.  We need people to teach him how to fish, swim, play instruments (he’s a music lover for sure), paint, school prep activities, chase him around the yard, work on his jump shot (he’s a lefty), etc.  We will be more than happy to take you up on any/all offers.  

I'm being summoned to the pool.  Gotta go!

Coming Home

It’s finished.  Sofani is finally ours. 

We had our appointment yesterday at the US Embassy and they approved our case.  We were all very excited and relieved to learn that the adoption is final.

We are packing our things this morning and will be going shopping for some souvenirs this afternoon.  The staff at the hotel found out that it’s Staci’s birthday today, so they’re having a coffee ceremony for her this evening at 7 PM.  We are having dinner with Alemu, our agency representative in Ethiopia, at his home at 8 PM before we head to the airport.  Our flight leaves at 1 AM Saturday (5 PM Friday EST) and we arrive in Dayton after making connections in London and Philadelphia on Saturday evening. 

The past couple of days in Ethiopia have been very low key.  We’ve traveled around the city.  We had meals all across Addis – even found a hamburger and fries last night (Avery and Jackson are going to make me stop at the first Buffalo Wild Wings that we see when we’re back in the states – they’re craving it in a bad way).  We have spent a lot of time with Linda Schrenk and her daughters from Ohio.  We are very fortunate to live so close to them so that Sofani can maintain contact with Meskarem and Hawi – his two buddies from Jane’s House.

We all played “Old Maid” last night and we learned that Sofani is a crafty card player.  He caught glimpses of Staci’s hand to make sure she selected the right cards and won both times that we played.  He’s already scoring lots of points with mom.  Sofani showers and makes his bed each morning.  He’s disciplined.  He even made Jackson get out of bed so he could make it.  Poor Jackson.  Sofani loves to dress up.  We brought several outfits for him and he’s mixing and matching his way through the week.  He loves his sunglasses and enjoys all of his new gear.  He’s proud of his new “stuff.”  He is freakishly strong and he loves music.  We can’t pry him away from the synthesizer in the hotel dining area (the other guest like it when we get him to rejoin us at the table - he needs a few lessons).  He knows the words to all of the Tigrenian songs on the radio and sings them proudly.  We all agree that Sofani is going to be a ton of laughs once he figures out the language.  He’s has a big personality and is super-social. 

Our trip to Jimma with World Vision was cancelled because of the timing of our Embassy appointment – we couldn’t get to Jimma and back safely in time to catch our plane.  We decided that this was probably a good thing in light of it all.  We were planning a 12 hour round trip to and from Jimma in a Toyota Land Cruiser only to board 3 planes over the next 24 hours on our trans-Atlantic journey home.  We did visit the World Vision office in Addis to drop off all of our gifts for Birtukan and to learn more about their work in the project near Jimma.  We were lucky enough to meet with the World Vision Sponsorship Director for all of Ethiopia and gained a lot of information about the Abaya region.  Abaya is the development project through World Vision that our church sponsors 157 children.  We’re in the process of planning a mission trip to this area in 2014 and we gained some valuable information and a key contact to help us with the logistics.  Good stuff!

Avery has been making bracelets over the past year and selling them to raise money for an orphanage in Ethiopia.  We counted the money in her jar before we left and she had $393.  We added $7 to make it an even $400.   On our way to the Embassy Avery told Alemu that she would like to donate it to Jane's House.  Alemu said that they needed $700 for a clothes dryer.  Linda spoke up and said that she brought some extra money in the event that she felt led to donate it and quickly agreed to chip in an extra $300 to pay for the dryer.  Super cool.  Avery knows first hand how many clothes were hanging on the line at Jane's House.  They hang in the only open area where the kids play.  Now the clothes can come down and give the kids some space to move around.

I can’t imagine what Sofani is thinking today.  He spoke with his Aunt last night on the phone and Girmay and Deborah this morning.  He is leaving everything familiar to him in his young life in a matter of hours.  Everything that he owns will be put into a suitcase and he’ll be starting a new life with new parents, siblings, community, church, school, climate, culture, friends, language… it’s hard for me to wrap my head around it.

He just continues to smile and laugh.  He has no idea what he’s in for and I really don’t think he cares.  I think he’s desperate for a father, mother and a family unit.  Nothing else matters to him.  He knows he’s going to have opportunities for education and a shot at the American Dream when he becomes a US citizen tomorrow in Philadelphia, but he’s too young to really know what that means.  He just wants to be a part of a family and we’re so fortunate to be the ones chosen.

Together

It’s 5:00 AM in Addis Ababa and I just woke up and find it hard to believe what has happened to me and my family over the past few months.  Seriously.  Yesterday was an unforgettable day but there were times when I wondered if Staci and I have lost our minds.  Are we really 7000 miles away from home?  Are we really prepared for a 4^th child… this week?  How in the world did we get here?  Yes, we may appear to have lost our minds, but I like to think of it as relying more on our hearts.

Yesterday was awesome.  Jackson and Avery were overjoyed to meet Sofani and the feeling was clearly reciprocated.  Kids, now brothers and sisters, that only knew of each other hugged, laughed and played together for the first time.  I was very proud as a father.  I was proud of well prepared Jackson and Avery’s hearts were for Sofani.  I was so pleased to see that in spite of a common language or a common background, there was love.  Jackson has always wanted a brother and the joy he experienced yesterday was so much fun to watch.  I am so happy to be able to watch him and Sofani bond.  I was proud that the courage Sofani showed to leave everything with the hope of becoming a part of our family was rewarded yesterday.  I was proud of Avery whose heart for the poor and marginalized has been exposed to so much this week.  Who knows what the plans are for each of them that met for the first time yesterday?  I’m just happy to have a good seat.

Emotionally yesterday was very different for Staci and me.  We haven’t had time to sit down and discuss it but I know we both feel that we’ve finished the first phase of a triathlon.  We know we’re about to get out of the water and there’s a lot of relief in knowing that this phase is behind us.   We know that this part of the adoption journey finishes this week and we can see the shore. 

We both know that the next phase will be present challenges, too.  How will the 4 kids get along?  How quickly will Sofani pick up English?  What about school?  What will happen to the dynamics of our family since we’ve adopted an older child?  How will Sofani adjust to life in the US?  Lots of questions are ahead of us in this process.  I think Staci and I are going to take some deep breaths over the next few days, pray a lot and trust that the doors will continue to be opened and the resources and answers will continue to come to us as easily as they have thus far. 

While there are some nervous and anxious feelings about the next phase of our lives together as a family I have faith that things will go continue to follow God’s plan.  When we first began the adoption process people told us that we would be frustrated because there were so many things that we wouldn’t be able to control.  Admittedly, Staci and I both had our concerns with this.  We knew that we would have to rely on our faith along with prayer and support from our family and friends.  Let me tell you… it has worked.  Giving God the control in life makes all of the difference.  We still have our struggles but we’re getting better all of the time.  This process has stretched us is a good way.  We have become much more trusting and reliant on God than in our own abilities.

I feel very fortunate to be a part of Sofani’s story and the changes that adopting him have already had and will always have in our family.  Everywhere I go people ask me bout it.  When will you get your son?  What are your kids saying?  Can he speak English?  How old is he?  Why were you in Ethiopia?  Staci’s facebook page has become more popular with every post about our journey.  A blog that I created to keep people close to us informed on the developments through the adoption process now has thousands of hits.  It’s crazy. 

But I know why it’s interesting.  God has used us to share a love story.  We have followed God through every door that He has opened in this process by relinquishing control and allowing Him to take the lead.  With every door that He has opened more and more people have cheered us on and encouraged us through the next one.  People have enjoyed watching God at work and Staci and I have enjoyed being a part of it.

Anxious in Addis

We arrived in Addis Ababa late Monday night after a 6-hour flight from Rome.   We purposefully planned a couple days in Rome to do some sight-seeing with Jackson and Avery and try to get a head start on working through the time change.  By going to Rome we were able to adjust to 6 of the 7 hour difference that we have in Ethiopia.  It was a good idea as I definitely feel more energized than the last time when we flew straight through the night to Addis.   

I feel like an old pro at the airport in Addis having been to Ethiopia 3 times in the last 7 months.  Staci, Avery, Jackson and I whipped through customs, got the kid’s visas, changed our dollars to birr, grabbed our bags and headed off to meet our driver in a very orderly fashion.  Danni, our driver, greeted us in the parking lot.  He remembered us and was very excited to see that we brought Avery and Jackson with us.  He asked about Sofani and I told him that he would be with us very shortly.   Sofani was a favorite amongst the staff at the hotel last time.  They’re all looking forward to another appearance.

After checking in and having some “juice” (smoothies) we headed to our apartment around midnight.  We have plenty of space – 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms along with a large common area and a kitchenette. 

We didn’t sleep much on Monday night.  We had good intentions but it didn’t work out that way.  All of us are probably “too excited” to head to Jane’s House and meet Sofani. 

I spoke with Alemu (our contact in Addis with our adoption agency) after we had breakfast this morning and he said that we’ll be heading to get him at 2 PM. 

We had coffee this morning with Linda Schrenk and her daughter from the Fort Wayne area.  Their family is adopting Muskarem and Hawi.  They have gotten to be great friends at Jane’s House because they’re so uniquely older than most of the children there.  Muskarem and Hawi will make 10 children (6 adopted) for the Schrenk family.  We know that we’ll be in contact with them for years because of the bond that Sofani had with the two sisters at Jane’s House. 

We’re all so anxious.  I know Sofani is, too.  We will take plenty of pictures.  We will be celebrating tonight.  We’re going to have a really good meal and – if we’re lucky – some ice cream!

Looking Back/Ready to Go!

On December 11^th I was leaving Mikelle, Ethiopia on a plane to Addis Ababa.  I had been away from Staci, the kids and my job for over a week.  I was as centered, joyful and humbled as I have ever been in my life.  It’s hard to imagine feeling that way half a world away from the people I love so much.  I kept a journal the entire time I was in Ethiopia – I wanted to remember every moment. 

Going back and reading the journal from time to time reminds me of one of the best weeks of my life.  One particular  entry that I read over and over was on December 8^th.  It was the day I met Sofani at Girmay and Atsad’s house in Mikelle.  I talked about my instant connection with Sofani.  I wrote about my feelings for him and how much he reminded me of our kids at home.  I remember distinctly the conversation with Deborah (Girmay and Atsad’s daughter that spoke excellent English) the day after I met Sofani.  Deborah told Mark, Todd and I his story.  How his parents both died when he was a little boy – his dad when he was 5 and his mom when he was 6.  How his grandmother took him in only to lose her two years ago.  I remember the sadness that we all felt.  None of us knew what to say.  I remember Todd breaking the silence with his prophetic words, “Sofani Buck.”  At that point I began to feel the burden on my heart for this little boy with the big smile.  I knew it.

I remember saying goodbye to Sofani on December 11^th.  I remember hugging him and fighting back tears.  I was unsure what this meant.  How could I feel so attached to a boy that I knew for 4 days?  The last entry in my journal on the plane leaving Mikelle said that I planned to return to Ethiopia.  I didn’t know exactly why or when at the time but things began to unfold from that point forward.

I remember calling Staci from the airport in DC when we arrived in the US on December 12^th.  The first thing I said to her was “I met this boy in Mikelle.”  At that point she knew.  She knew this was out of character for me and she was dizzy with excitement.

On December 19^th I was sitting in a hotel room in Louisville.  I was back at work one week and knew what I had to do.  I called Staci and told her I was going to fire off an email to Girmay and ask him to approach Sofani about becoming a part of our family.  The next day I woke up to Girmay’s response letting us know that he was on board with helping us and agreed that this was a “divine connection.”  He spoke with Sofani and said that he was as excited as we were.  At that point the adoption process began.  Staci and I worked feverishly to make connections with a local and international agency to help us navigate through the process.

On May 22^nd I introduced Sofani to his new mother – my incredible wife that has been on board since the first conversation we had about adopting Sofani over the phone. 

On Friday, May 25^th Staci and I left Sofani at the airport after spending three days with him.  This time leaving him was even harder.  He was officially ours but had to leave him in Addis while the paperwork process continued.  Sofani, who had been smiling for the last 3 days cried and Staci and I were a mess.   We sobbed the entire way through check-in and onto the plane. 

Next week Sofani will meet his new brother and sister on his turf in Addis Ababa.  This is going to be an amazing introduction – one I will never forget.  And on Saturday July 22^nd we’ll be making another trip to the airport to return to the US.  This time Sofani Jason Buck will be on the plane with us.  We’ll leave Ethiopia as a family. 

I know my entries from this point on will be all about our new family but I felt like I needed to take time to acknowledge several people that have been an incredible help to us through the adoption process.  We have had very few delays and we owe so many thanks to so many people.  Thank you to Jennifer Morrissey with Adoptions of Indiana; Sally Mouw and Alemu with Adoptions Associates; Girmay and Atsad; Sofani’s Aunt Mihret for making two trips to Addis on Sofani’s behalf; Dan Benson for helping Mark, Todd and I get to Ethiopia; our church, family and friends for their encouragement.  And most importantly God.  God’s hand has been in this process the entire time.  I remember praying to God last August asking Him to do something with my life that got me out of my comfort zone.  I told God I promised to say “yes.”  My life has been filled with joy ever since.  Little did I know the impact that prayer would have on my life and my family.  Wow.  It’s unbelievable. 


A picture of Sofani's birth parents

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them. Hebrews 6:10



Counting Down the Days

This has been a long month.  Since Staci and I returned from Ethiopia the wait has been very difficult.  We are so anxious to get the date for our embassy appointment and bring Sofani home.  Sofani’s Aunt Mihreret has to visit the US Embassy on Monday, July 9^th.  This is the final step in the process.  We should know our travel dates on Monday.  More than likely we will travel the week of July 16^th. 

Staci and I have deliberated about the return trip – who would stay and who would go.  At this point Avery and Jackson are planning on making the trip with me and Staci is going to stay in the US with Anna.  I think it will be a once in a lifetime experience for Avery and Jackson to see Sofani’s country and meet him on his own turf.  They both recently had their immunizations and are gearing up for the trip. 

While we’re in Ethiopia, we have made arrangements to go to visit Birtukan, the girl that Avery sponsors in the Southern region of Ethiopia, through World Vision.  Birtukan and Avery have been corresponding over the past year.  Birtukan lives in a World Vision sponsored village near Jimma town.  Jimma is 315 km from Addis Ababa (about 4 hours away).  She lives with her parents and 1 sister.  The village that she lives in has been impacted severely by the HIV/AIDS crisis. 

Avery sends Birtukan letters and as many things as she can stuff in an envelope – jump ropes, bracelets, tights, etc.  Birtukan’s last letter said that she “kissed and hugged” the photos that Avery sent her.  At the end of the letter Birtukan said that “we wish you good times and hope to meet you.”  She wrote this before she knew that Avery was going to Ethiopia (she will likely be made aware in the coming week). We will be packing gifts for Birtukan’s family.  Avery, Jackson, Sofani and I will be spending one night in Jimma along with our 2 chaperones from World Vision.   This will be a special day for all of us – especially Avery and Birtukan.  It’s going to be life changing for everyone involved. 

I would ask that you pray for Mihreret’s travel to Addis and that we would get a good price for flights since we’re booking on such short notice.  Please pray for Sofani and the rest of the children at the transition home who are anxiously awaiting the opportunity to have families.  Pray for good health and smooth travels for Avery, Jackson and me.  Pray for Staci and Anna as they hold down the fort and anxiously await our return to the US.  Pray for Birtukan and for our trip to Jimma in the Southern Region of Ethiopia.

We are planning an open house for Sofani on Saturday, August 18^th.  If you have followed our story and would like to meet Sofani this would be a great opportunity. 

More details to follow!