So Much Fun

We are having so much fun. Sofani is fitting right in to our family.  His bright smile and contagious laugh have brought us so much joy over the past three weeks.

I’ll do my best to share some of the best stories thus far (and there have been plenty).

The kid can cook.  Who knew?  Sofani has prepared dinner for the entire family twice since his arrival.  He loves to make “spaget” (spaghetti) his own special way.  He carefully dices onions, tomatoes and adds oil and white pepper to make an incredible sauce.  He makes fruity drinks served in wine glasses and always insists on a “cheers” before everyone takes their first drink.  He drinks a café latte in the mornings with 3 teaspoons of sugar and will drink anything with mango (he loves it).  He has discovered McDonalds.  He loves cheeseburgers with ketchup only.  After church Sunday he began chanting, “Mick – dah – nodes, Mick – dah – nodes!”  Staci caved and took him.

He’s a quick study.  His English is improving every day and he’s getting private ESL instruction three times a week.  He’s nervous talking around people that he doesn’t know but is very expressive when he’s among people close to him.  He understands almost everything that we say and if he doesn’t we rephrase until we’re on the same page.

He learned how to swim in 3 days.  He went from drinking all of the water in the pool and choking every time he went underwater on day 1 to swimming the length of the pool underwater and doing back flips off of the diving board last week.  We joke that he may be the first Ethiopian diver in the Olympics.

We bought him an iPod and he’s quickly developing the dependence that every American has with their handheld devices.  He loves shopping at Target with his mom.  His Grandma Anita gave him $100 and he’s fascinated with what that can get him in the US.  He hasn’t spent it – he’s just very interested in knowing what it can buy.  He asked us how much it was to buy a goat last week. 

Sofani says, “How much goat?”

I asked, “Why, for a pet?” 

Sofani said, “No.”

I asked, “To eat the grass in the yard?”

Sofani replied, “No.  To eat.”

We laughed and promised to get him to an Ethiopian restaurant soon.

He is a hard worker.  He and I were in the garage two weeks ago and it was a mess.  Disorganized, dirty – it was definitely project that would have taken me an entire Saturday afternoon to complete.  I made some comment about how bad it looked and the next day while I was at work he pulled everything out of the garage, cleaned it, threw away trash and organized it to the point that we could easily get both cars in it.  He was very proud and I was very grateful.  It’s important for him to feel that he’s adding value to our family. 

He’s an entrepreneur at heart.  Back to his money… he asked if his $100 could buy him a hen.  We called Grandpa Tom (the only one in our family that would know how to access this information).  Tom said Sofani’s $100 could probably get him 2 hens.  Now Sofani wants to build a chicken coop and 2 hens so that he can sell eggs.  We haven’t worked through this yet.  Avery reminded him that it would be hard to go on vacation if we were chicken farmers!  It's just a reminder that in some way he knows that he must look out for himself and his own future.  He's dealt with enough loss in his young life to know that things can be taken from you very quickly.

Before he arrived we bought a used bike for him.  We had no idea if he could ride so we didn’t buy a new one.  Sofani took off right away – riding with no hands.  The kid could obviously handle a bike. My dad has made a tradition of buying our kids their first really nice bike, so we were holding out for Poppy to take Sofani to the bike shop in Marion when the time came.   Jackson and Avery have both been on the receiving end of Poppy’s bike purchase.  Last week Sofani was fed up with his used bike.  The kickstand is busted up, the bike is heavy and the gears often miss when as it shifts.  Sofani said, “This bike no good.  Jackson and Avery’s bikes very good.”  We knew it was time to make the trip to Marion.  Poppy spent the day with Sofani and Jackson.  They bought Sofani a new bike and rode around the trails in Marion all afternoon.  When he left he thanked my dad and bowed.  He was very grateful.  He loves his new bike.  He takes bike rides with Jackson and Avery on the trails at the park by our house every day.

It hasn’t been perfect, though.  Sofani got in trouble today.  He has recently figured out how to ride the mower around the yard and loves driving it as fast as it will go.  Staci took the key away from him today so he wouldn’t ride it unsupervised and he hotwired it and took it for a joyride.  Twice.  Staci took away his iPod and he begged and pleaded to have it back.  He said he was very, very sorry. We’ll see when he gets it back.  It’s hard to discipline him. 

Sofani was insistent to go to school when Avery, Jackson and Anna begin.  That wasn’t exactly our plan.  We thought he would stay home with Staci for the first semester and home school him while he became better acquainted with English.  He didn’t want anything to do with our plan so Staci met with the administration in our school system and they’ve mapped out a plan for him to be in Jackson’s class in the 5^th grade.  Being in the highest grade in the elementary school will probably be a great way to break him into the school system.  He’ll have one teacher for his core subjects and they’ll work to tailor some of the subjects to meet him where he is with the language barrier.  We’re so grateful to have such an awesome school system.  They know this is going to be a challenge and stretch them a bit, but they’re excited to give it a go.  We know we’ll have bumps along the way as he learns English.  It’s all part of the process.

Sofani has called his Aunt Meheret back in Mikelle each week since he’s been with us.  He lived with her prior to moving into the transition home in March.  We have a calling plan set up so that he can talk with her each week and catch up with her.  He loves his Aunt and we want to keep him in contact with her.  She is so happy for him, his new family and his future.  We want her to know how he’s doing and we’re committed to doing everything we can to keep him speaking his native language.  We don’t want him to lose it.

Every day he tells us a part of his story.  His story is his and not for everyone reading the blog; suffice it to say it is amazing. He is a survivor. God is using him and will continue to use him. We relish in these "talks" with him because we know he must trust us and want us to know about his life in Ethiopia. It is hard not to hover and see his reaction to everything and see if it will spark one of these moments of discussion about his past. We are making up for lost time getting to know him and it makes you want to sit and take it all in when he starts talking about his home.

On our way back from Ethiopia 3 weeks ago Staci and I began planning some sort of meet and greet at our house so people could come by and say hello to Sofani.  So many people have been following his story that we wanted to create an event so that people could stop by and meet this incredible kid.  We knew that there would be quite a bit of interest but we’re blown away by the response.  At present, we’re expecting around 250 people at our house on Saturday from 12-4 PM.  We are going to shuttle people back and forth from the parking lot at the park across the street from our house on golf carts so we’ll have enough parking.  Sofani understands that there will be a lot of people at the event.  He calls it his “nice to meet you.” 

I keep wondering if we’re going to experience some sort of meltdown when he says misses life in Ethiopia. Occasionally I’ll ask him if he thinks about it.  He always reacts the same way.  He says he loves it in America.  He loves his family and has no thoughts of ever going home.  I asked him yesterday if he ever thought he would return (after college, later in life, etc.).  He said, “No.  I’m happy.”  So are we.

If you would like to stop by the “Nice to Meet You” Open House on Saturday, please feel free.  Park at the Prairie Creek Beach parking lot and walk to our house or wait on a golf cart (7904 S 560 E Selma, IN). 



In addition, I wanted to post a poem that Avery wrote while we were in Ethiopia.  Avery is our 11 year old daughter that is mature beyond her years.  She heads off to middle school tomorrow morning.  I think you'll appreciate her perspective as she puts some of her observations from her time in Addis Ababa into a poem.  We're so proud of Avery.  We think she's going to change the world.

Avery writes this after spending an afternoon taxi ride in the pouring rain; beggars tapping the van windows saying "Sister! One!" for one Birr, (17 Birr = 1 Dollar) and they gesture to their mouth

to indicate one Birr for food.  Mothers, crippled, blind, and maybe most frightening to our kids were the children begging. 

Avery's Poem:

Poverty has called my name.

"Sister."
"One."

I have looked poverty straight in the eyes.
Cried their tears.
Bury my heart at the feet of he poor.
How many people have died on these streets?
Many hungry souls wander the dirt.
Live on the rocks.
Drink in the rain.
Starve.
Alone.
How many lives will it claim?
How many lives will these grounds swallow up?
Whole.
Half.
Gone.
While the rain washes over them.
Thinning the bone.
I can't see the roads;
the hurt.
Pain.
Blinds.
The blind hurt.
The deaf suffer.
The priveledged see with sightless eyes.
Hear with sound-stripped ears.
Speak with mute mouths.
The rain is like tears.
Shedding their sorrow.
Yellow eyes.
Empty eyes.
Long, haggard faces on mothers of infants.
"Take my child."
"One."
Loss of will.
Crying inside.
Huddles in blankets.
Skeletal feet peeking out.
My writing has bled.
Reopened old wounds.
For voicing the fears of the unheard.
"Once."

Thrilled to be Home

Where do I start?

Friday and Saturday were a blur with all of our flights from Addis to London to Philadelphia to Dayton.  We traveled for 32 hours striaght and were totally spent by the time we made it home last night.

First and foremost, we cleared customs and immigration in a matter of minutes in Philadelphia yesterday afternoon.  Sofani was fingerprinted (you could tell this was a first), processed and welcomed to the US. 

During our travel day we enjoyed observing his reaction to everything.  London Heathrow airport is enough to overwhelm anyone.  Sofani had his first encounter with escalators and people mover walkways.  The shops at the airport had him in awe – Burberry, Ted Baker of London, new book stores, etc.  It’s a far cry from the markets on the streets of Addis or Mikelle.  He wanted ice cream for dinner (only the second time he’s had it in his life).  How could I say “no?”  We ordered two scoops. 

He got into Staci’s SUV at the airport and was amazed at the TV in the vehicle.  We were going down the interstate and he pointed out the sunroof.  He stood up and stuck his head out of the car at 70 mph.  It was fun listening to him laugh as the wind blew his eyes shut and forced him back into the car.  We were hungry and we had to welcome him to America we had to stop by McDonalds.  He laughed as we talked to a box to order food and promptly devastated a cheeseburger and large fry with no problem.  McDonalds is universal – everyone loves it.

As we turned onto our road he knew we were close because he was following Staci’s navigation system the entire way home.   The excitement was palpable.  He was about to jump out of his skin.  We pulled onto our lane to find that our house had been decorated by our friends.  Welcome signs everywhere.  I’ve never felt so welcome at my own house (if that makes any sense).  I’m sure he felt the love as it clearly showed him how many people were ready to welcome him to our extended family and community.

My grandma, Joan, and Staci’s father, Tom were at the house when we arrived.  They were making the handoff with our 5-year old bundle of blond curls that we missed so much over the past week – our dear Anna.  (By the way – a HUGE “thank you” to my sister Julie and our family in Marion for watching Anna for the entire time we were away.  We owe you!)  Tom and Grandma Joan welcomed him with big hugs and kisses and he was very happy to meet his new sister.  Anna’s job was to show Sofani around the house and that’s what happened next. 

When I say we were blown away by our friends I mean it.  Blown away.  We were so exhausted that the love from our dear group of friends and family who weren't physically here to greet us easily turned into tears.  We could feel your presence.

There were signs everywhere from friends from our community – the staff at church, friends of ours, etc.  Bright, colorful signs welcoming Sofani to his new home and community.  I don’t know how many there are to be exact but they’re everywhere.  The refrigerator was stocked, supplies bought and the pantry was full.  We are so very grateful.  I can’t express how much it means to us to have so many wonderful friends and such a supportive family and community.

Sofani was excited to see his bunk bed which had been meticulously constructed by Paw Paw Tom and decorated by his new loving mother.  He has pictures of himself as a baby, his parents, his aunt, etc. (thank you to Kim, mother to Sofani’s sister Liya in Texas).  He loved his new room and was shocked when he opened the closet door to see all of the clothes.  His name was painted on the driveway on the basketball court along with Jackson’s (thank you to Chris Willis). 

Anna toured him throughout the house and he couldn’t stop smiling.  He couldn’t believe the fresh fruit, the full fridge, the big screen television and the pool.  He made a quick change of clothes and we were swimming until midnight.  Sofani is determined to figure out how to swim.  I think it will be a matter of hours before this happens. 

We finally tucked everyone in and said prayers around 1 AM.  We were exhausted.  Wonder when he woke up?  4 AM.  That’s right.  It was just like Christmas morning at the Buck’s house today.  He showered, went outside to ride his new bike, chasing Anna and Jackson around the house with a toy rifle, playing pool, ate a bowl of Fruit Loops and went out to the pier.  He woke Staci and me up at 7 AM.  Any other day I would have rolled over and begged for a few more minutes of sleep but I couldn’t do it.  He wants to go swimming.  He wants to go fishing.  He is thrilled to be here.  He cannot stop smiling and laughing.  It is the most excited I have ever seen anyone – hands down.

Now we are going to soak it all up. 

I cannot adequately express my sincere thanks to our family, friends, church and community throughout this process.  Never in our lives have Staci and I felt so much love and support.  We have meals coming every evening for the next couple of weeks from members of our church.  It’s unbelievable.  We are truly blessed.

What’s next?  This kid has more energy and interest in learning new things than Staci and I will be able to keep up with in the days and weeks to come.  If you’ve ever been one of those people that have said, “Let me know what I can do to help” – your time has come.  We’re going to take all of you up on that offer.  We need people to teach him how to fish, swim, play instruments (he’s a music lover for sure), paint, school prep activities, chase him around the yard, work on his jump shot (he’s a lefty), etc.  We will be more than happy to take you up on any/all offers.  

I'm being summoned to the pool.  Gotta go!

Coming Home

It’s finished.  Sofani is finally ours. 

We had our appointment yesterday at the US Embassy and they approved our case.  We were all very excited and relieved to learn that the adoption is final.

We are packing our things this morning and will be going shopping for some souvenirs this afternoon.  The staff at the hotel found out that it’s Staci’s birthday today, so they’re having a coffee ceremony for her this evening at 7 PM.  We are having dinner with Alemu, our agency representative in Ethiopia, at his home at 8 PM before we head to the airport.  Our flight leaves at 1 AM Saturday (5 PM Friday EST) and we arrive in Dayton after making connections in London and Philadelphia on Saturday evening. 

The past couple of days in Ethiopia have been very low key.  We’ve traveled around the city.  We had meals all across Addis – even found a hamburger and fries last night (Avery and Jackson are going to make me stop at the first Buffalo Wild Wings that we see when we’re back in the states – they’re craving it in a bad way).  We have spent a lot of time with Linda Schrenk and her daughters from Ohio.  We are very fortunate to live so close to them so that Sofani can maintain contact with Meskarem and Hawi – his two buddies from Jane’s House.

We all played “Old Maid” last night and we learned that Sofani is a crafty card player.  He caught glimpses of Staci’s hand to make sure she selected the right cards and won both times that we played.  He’s already scoring lots of points with mom.  Sofani showers and makes his bed each morning.  He’s disciplined.  He even made Jackson get out of bed so he could make it.  Poor Jackson.  Sofani loves to dress up.  We brought several outfits for him and he’s mixing and matching his way through the week.  He loves his sunglasses and enjoys all of his new gear.  He’s proud of his new “stuff.”  He is freakishly strong and he loves music.  We can’t pry him away from the synthesizer in the hotel dining area (the other guest like it when we get him to rejoin us at the table - he needs a few lessons).  He knows the words to all of the Tigrenian songs on the radio and sings them proudly.  We all agree that Sofani is going to be a ton of laughs once he figures out the language.  He’s has a big personality and is super-social. 

Our trip to Jimma with World Vision was cancelled because of the timing of our Embassy appointment – we couldn’t get to Jimma and back safely in time to catch our plane.  We decided that this was probably a good thing in light of it all.  We were planning a 12 hour round trip to and from Jimma in a Toyota Land Cruiser only to board 3 planes over the next 24 hours on our trans-Atlantic journey home.  We did visit the World Vision office in Addis to drop off all of our gifts for Birtukan and to learn more about their work in the project near Jimma.  We were lucky enough to meet with the World Vision Sponsorship Director for all of Ethiopia and gained a lot of information about the Abaya region.  Abaya is the development project through World Vision that our church sponsors 157 children.  We’re in the process of planning a mission trip to this area in 2014 and we gained some valuable information and a key contact to help us with the logistics.  Good stuff!

Avery has been making bracelets over the past year and selling them to raise money for an orphanage in Ethiopia.  We counted the money in her jar before we left and she had $393.  We added $7 to make it an even $400.   On our way to the Embassy Avery told Alemu that she would like to donate it to Jane's House.  Alemu said that they needed $700 for a clothes dryer.  Linda spoke up and said that she brought some extra money in the event that she felt led to donate it and quickly agreed to chip in an extra $300 to pay for the dryer.  Super cool.  Avery knows first hand how many clothes were hanging on the line at Jane's House.  They hang in the only open area where the kids play.  Now the clothes can come down and give the kids some space to move around.

I can’t imagine what Sofani is thinking today.  He spoke with his Aunt last night on the phone and Girmay and Deborah this morning.  He is leaving everything familiar to him in his young life in a matter of hours.  Everything that he owns will be put into a suitcase and he’ll be starting a new life with new parents, siblings, community, church, school, climate, culture, friends, language… it’s hard for me to wrap my head around it.

He just continues to smile and laugh.  He has no idea what he’s in for and I really don’t think he cares.  I think he’s desperate for a father, mother and a family unit.  Nothing else matters to him.  He knows he’s going to have opportunities for education and a shot at the American Dream when he becomes a US citizen tomorrow in Philadelphia, but he’s too young to really know what that means.  He just wants to be a part of a family and we’re so fortunate to be the ones chosen.

Together

It’s 5:00 AM in Addis Ababa and I just woke up and find it hard to believe what has happened to me and my family over the past few months.  Seriously.  Yesterday was an unforgettable day but there were times when I wondered if Staci and I have lost our minds.  Are we really 7000 miles away from home?  Are we really prepared for a 4^th child… this week?  How in the world did we get here?  Yes, we may appear to have lost our minds, but I like to think of it as relying more on our hearts.

Yesterday was awesome.  Jackson and Avery were overjoyed to meet Sofani and the feeling was clearly reciprocated.  Kids, now brothers and sisters, that only knew of each other hugged, laughed and played together for the first time.  I was very proud as a father.  I was proud of well prepared Jackson and Avery’s hearts were for Sofani.  I was so pleased to see that in spite of a common language or a common background, there was love.  Jackson has always wanted a brother and the joy he experienced yesterday was so much fun to watch.  I am so happy to be able to watch him and Sofani bond.  I was proud that the courage Sofani showed to leave everything with the hope of becoming a part of our family was rewarded yesterday.  I was proud of Avery whose heart for the poor and marginalized has been exposed to so much this week.  Who knows what the plans are for each of them that met for the first time yesterday?  I’m just happy to have a good seat.

Emotionally yesterday was very different for Staci and me.  We haven’t had time to sit down and discuss it but I know we both feel that we’ve finished the first phase of a triathlon.  We know we’re about to get out of the water and there’s a lot of relief in knowing that this phase is behind us.   We know that this part of the adoption journey finishes this week and we can see the shore. 

We both know that the next phase will be present challenges, too.  How will the 4 kids get along?  How quickly will Sofani pick up English?  What about school?  What will happen to the dynamics of our family since we’ve adopted an older child?  How will Sofani adjust to life in the US?  Lots of questions are ahead of us in this process.  I think Staci and I are going to take some deep breaths over the next few days, pray a lot and trust that the doors will continue to be opened and the resources and answers will continue to come to us as easily as they have thus far. 

While there are some nervous and anxious feelings about the next phase of our lives together as a family I have faith that things will go continue to follow God’s plan.  When we first began the adoption process people told us that we would be frustrated because there were so many things that we wouldn’t be able to control.  Admittedly, Staci and I both had our concerns with this.  We knew that we would have to rely on our faith along with prayer and support from our family and friends.  Let me tell you… it has worked.  Giving God the control in life makes all of the difference.  We still have our struggles but we’re getting better all of the time.  This process has stretched us is a good way.  We have become much more trusting and reliant on God than in our own abilities.

I feel very fortunate to be a part of Sofani’s story and the changes that adopting him have already had and will always have in our family.  Everywhere I go people ask me bout it.  When will you get your son?  What are your kids saying?  Can he speak English?  How old is he?  Why were you in Ethiopia?  Staci’s facebook page has become more popular with every post about our journey.  A blog that I created to keep people close to us informed on the developments through the adoption process now has thousands of hits.  It’s crazy. 

But I know why it’s interesting.  God has used us to share a love story.  We have followed God through every door that He has opened in this process by relinquishing control and allowing Him to take the lead.  With every door that He has opened more and more people have cheered us on and encouraged us through the next one.  People have enjoyed watching God at work and Staci and I have enjoyed being a part of it.

Anxious in Addis

We arrived in Addis Ababa late Monday night after a 6-hour flight from Rome.   We purposefully planned a couple days in Rome to do some sight-seeing with Jackson and Avery and try to get a head start on working through the time change.  By going to Rome we were able to adjust to 6 of the 7 hour difference that we have in Ethiopia.  It was a good idea as I definitely feel more energized than the last time when we flew straight through the night to Addis.   

I feel like an old pro at the airport in Addis having been to Ethiopia 3 times in the last 7 months.  Staci, Avery, Jackson and I whipped through customs, got the kid’s visas, changed our dollars to birr, grabbed our bags and headed off to meet our driver in a very orderly fashion.  Danni, our driver, greeted us in the parking lot.  He remembered us and was very excited to see that we brought Avery and Jackson with us.  He asked about Sofani and I told him that he would be with us very shortly.   Sofani was a favorite amongst the staff at the hotel last time.  They’re all looking forward to another appearance.

After checking in and having some “juice” (smoothies) we headed to our apartment around midnight.  We have plenty of space – 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms along with a large common area and a kitchenette. 

We didn’t sleep much on Monday night.  We had good intentions but it didn’t work out that way.  All of us are probably “too excited” to head to Jane’s House and meet Sofani. 

I spoke with Alemu (our contact in Addis with our adoption agency) after we had breakfast this morning and he said that we’ll be heading to get him at 2 PM. 

We had coffee this morning with Linda Schrenk and her daughter from the Fort Wayne area.  Their family is adopting Muskarem and Hawi.  They have gotten to be great friends at Jane’s House because they’re so uniquely older than most of the children there.  Muskarem and Hawi will make 10 children (6 adopted) for the Schrenk family.  We know that we’ll be in contact with them for years because of the bond that Sofani had with the two sisters at Jane’s House. 

We’re all so anxious.  I know Sofani is, too.  We will take plenty of pictures.  We will be celebrating tonight.  We’re going to have a really good meal and – if we’re lucky – some ice cream!

Looking Back/Ready to Go!

On December 11^th I was leaving Mikelle, Ethiopia on a plane to Addis Ababa.  I had been away from Staci, the kids and my job for over a week.  I was as centered, joyful and humbled as I have ever been in my life.  It’s hard to imagine feeling that way half a world away from the people I love so much.  I kept a journal the entire time I was in Ethiopia – I wanted to remember every moment. 

Going back and reading the journal from time to time reminds me of one of the best weeks of my life.  One particular  entry that I read over and over was on December 8^th.  It was the day I met Sofani at Girmay and Atsad’s house in Mikelle.  I talked about my instant connection with Sofani.  I wrote about my feelings for him and how much he reminded me of our kids at home.  I remember distinctly the conversation with Deborah (Girmay and Atsad’s daughter that spoke excellent English) the day after I met Sofani.  Deborah told Mark, Todd and I his story.  How his parents both died when he was a little boy – his dad when he was 5 and his mom when he was 6.  How his grandmother took him in only to lose her two years ago.  I remember the sadness that we all felt.  None of us knew what to say.  I remember Todd breaking the silence with his prophetic words, “Sofani Buck.”  At that point I began to feel the burden on my heart for this little boy with the big smile.  I knew it.

I remember saying goodbye to Sofani on December 11^th.  I remember hugging him and fighting back tears.  I was unsure what this meant.  How could I feel so attached to a boy that I knew for 4 days?  The last entry in my journal on the plane leaving Mikelle said that I planned to return to Ethiopia.  I didn’t know exactly why or when at the time but things began to unfold from that point forward.

I remember calling Staci from the airport in DC when we arrived in the US on December 12^th.  The first thing I said to her was “I met this boy in Mikelle.”  At that point she knew.  She knew this was out of character for me and she was dizzy with excitement.

On December 19^th I was sitting in a hotel room in Louisville.  I was back at work one week and knew what I had to do.  I called Staci and told her I was going to fire off an email to Girmay and ask him to approach Sofani about becoming a part of our family.  The next day I woke up to Girmay’s response letting us know that he was on board with helping us and agreed that this was a “divine connection.”  He spoke with Sofani and said that he was as excited as we were.  At that point the adoption process began.  Staci and I worked feverishly to make connections with a local and international agency to help us navigate through the process.

On May 22^nd I introduced Sofani to his new mother – my incredible wife that has been on board since the first conversation we had about adopting Sofani over the phone. 

On Friday, May 25^th Staci and I left Sofani at the airport after spending three days with him.  This time leaving him was even harder.  He was officially ours but had to leave him in Addis while the paperwork process continued.  Sofani, who had been smiling for the last 3 days cried and Staci and I were a mess.   We sobbed the entire way through check-in and onto the plane. 

Next week Sofani will meet his new brother and sister on his turf in Addis Ababa.  This is going to be an amazing introduction – one I will never forget.  And on Saturday July 22^nd we’ll be making another trip to the airport to return to the US.  This time Sofani Jason Buck will be on the plane with us.  We’ll leave Ethiopia as a family. 

I know my entries from this point on will be all about our new family but I felt like I needed to take time to acknowledge several people that have been an incredible help to us through the adoption process.  We have had very few delays and we owe so many thanks to so many people.  Thank you to Jennifer Morrissey with Adoptions of Indiana; Sally Mouw and Alemu with Adoptions Associates; Girmay and Atsad; Sofani’s Aunt Mihret for making two trips to Addis on Sofani’s behalf; Dan Benson for helping Mark, Todd and I get to Ethiopia; our church, family and friends for their encouragement.  And most importantly God.  God’s hand has been in this process the entire time.  I remember praying to God last August asking Him to do something with my life that got me out of my comfort zone.  I told God I promised to say “yes.”  My life has been filled with joy ever since.  Little did I know the impact that prayer would have on my life and my family.  Wow.  It’s unbelievable. 


A picture of Sofani's birth parents

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them. Hebrews 6:10



Counting Down the Days

This has been a long month.  Since Staci and I returned from Ethiopia the wait has been very difficult.  We are so anxious to get the date for our embassy appointment and bring Sofani home.  Sofani’s Aunt Mihreret has to visit the US Embassy on Monday, July 9^th.  This is the final step in the process.  We should know our travel dates on Monday.  More than likely we will travel the week of July 16^th. 

Staci and I have deliberated about the return trip – who would stay and who would go.  At this point Avery and Jackson are planning on making the trip with me and Staci is going to stay in the US with Anna.  I think it will be a once in a lifetime experience for Avery and Jackson to see Sofani’s country and meet him on his own turf.  They both recently had their immunizations and are gearing up for the trip. 

While we’re in Ethiopia, we have made arrangements to go to visit Birtukan, the girl that Avery sponsors in the Southern region of Ethiopia, through World Vision.  Birtukan and Avery have been corresponding over the past year.  Birtukan lives in a World Vision sponsored village near Jimma town.  Jimma is 315 km from Addis Ababa (about 4 hours away).  She lives with her parents and 1 sister.  The village that she lives in has been impacted severely by the HIV/AIDS crisis. 

Avery sends Birtukan letters and as many things as she can stuff in an envelope – jump ropes, bracelets, tights, etc.  Birtukan’s last letter said that she “kissed and hugged” the photos that Avery sent her.  At the end of the letter Birtukan said that “we wish you good times and hope to meet you.”  She wrote this before she knew that Avery was going to Ethiopia (she will likely be made aware in the coming week). We will be packing gifts for Birtukan’s family.  Avery, Jackson, Sofani and I will be spending one night in Jimma along with our 2 chaperones from World Vision.   This will be a special day for all of us – especially Avery and Birtukan.  It’s going to be life changing for everyone involved. 

I would ask that you pray for Mihreret’s travel to Addis and that we would get a good price for flights since we’re booking on such short notice.  Please pray for Sofani and the rest of the children at the transition home who are anxiously awaiting the opportunity to have families.  Pray for good health and smooth travels for Avery, Jackson and me.  Pray for Staci and Anna as they hold down the fort and anxiously await our return to the US.  Pray for Birtukan and for our trip to Jimma in the Southern Region of Ethiopia.

We are planning an open house for Sofani on Saturday, August 18^th.  If you have followed our story and would like to meet Sofani this would be a great opportunity. 

More details to follow!

"He's All Yours"

We sat in a waiting room for the adoption hearing on Wednesday for what seemed like forever.  There  were a collection of people – mother’s that had given up their children, relatives of children in orphanages, social workers and around 10 other couples to gain approval for adoption much like us.  They started off calling all of the couples – everyone but us.  Then they called all of the family members and mothers.  We just sat there.  We were the last ones in the waiting room – Staci, Me, our two Social workers from AAI and Sofani.  Finally we were called into the court room to answer a series of questions and were given approval to make Sofani our fourth child.  At that moment the Judge signed the documents making it official. The Judge said, “He’s all yours.”  We were thrilled.  Months of anxiety finally resulted in the desired outcome.  He’s all ours.

We were incredibly blessed to be able to spend 3 full days with our new son.

He is the sweetest boy.   He latched onto me as soon as we met and we were virtually inseparable for three days.  It was so much fun to watch him bond with Staci, too.  She loves him as much as I do. 

Let me tell you a little bit about Sofani. 

He’s incredibly sweet.  He is the oldest kid of the 23 at “Jane’s” house (the transition home that he’s been living in for the past 2 months as part of the adoption process).  Nearly all of the children are infants.  He sleeps on a top bunk with his belongings proudly displayed, his clothes neatly folded at the foot of his bed.  He watches over the little ones at the orphanage and cares for them like they’re his family. 

We were in the market with him buying some souvenirs and gifts to take home on Thursday afternoon.  We had purchased bracelets for Avery and Anna the night before and we wanted Sofani to pick up a couple things for him to remember our visit by until we returned to pick him up in several weeks after our Embassy appointment (passport, visa, etc.).  He began shopping for Jackson.  The kid that had everything packed for 3 days with us in a plastic bag was shopping for his brother back in the states.  Unbelievable.

We were eating outside yesterday at our hotel and Staci had a fly land in her chicken salad.  She instinctively pushed her plate away as she watched the fly swim around in her salad for a few seconds.  Sofani immediately pushed his plate in front of her so that she would still have something to eat. 

He loves music and dancing.  We had dinner at our hotel and Sofani made his way over to a synthesizer in the corner of the room.  He began playing.  Not just playing but entertaining the room.  Making up songs and singing like he was on stage.  The staff at the hotel all loved him, so no one was about to make him stop.  Everyone just laughs.  His ever present smile is so disarming. It makes you melt.

We went outside the hotel to sit in the courtyard.  Someone was dejaying and playing Ethiopian music.  Sofani quickly sought them out, demanded that they play some Tigrenian music (his region of Ethiopia). He grabbed Staci and I and began showing us dance moves and singing the songs.  He laughed at us and we encouraged him to keep going.  He is full of personality.  He’s going to be very popular in Selma.

He’s smart.  Sofani figured our Staci’s iphone, camera and computer in minutes.  He gained confidence speaking English by the hour.  He had English in his school in Mikelle and can read it well considering it’s not his primary language.  He understands what we’re talking about and was able to have conversations with us, albeit a bit choppy, by the time we left on Thursday.  Learning English isn’t going to be a problem. 

We had such an amazing three days with Sofani.  We are filled with joy and know more than ever that this is God’s plan for our family.   I will be returning in a month or so to attend the Embassy appointment and take him home with us once and for all.  Leaving him Thursday night at the airport was so hard.  We cried all the way through check-in (thinking about it still makes me cry as I write this).  Sofani’s big smile turned to tears as he hugged and kissed Staci and me.  Walking away was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  I reminded Sofani – and I keep trying to remind myself – “I’ll be back as soon as I am able.  As soon as the paperwork is processed, I’ll be on the first plane to Addis to get you.”

There are so many stories to tell about our time in Ethiopia – definitely more entries to write.  First, I have to thank Staci – my partner on this journey.  Her support and willingness to make Sofani a part of our family go beyond words for me.  She is a wonderful woman and this entire process has pulled us closer together.  God has rewarded our marriage.  This been one of the best weeks of our lives.  I have to thank all of the friends and family that have helped with Avery, Jackson and Anna while we’ve been away.  We missed Avery’s “Terrific Kid” award ceremony for Selma Elementary and her 5^th grade graduation.  Staci and I were so encouraged to call home and talk with the kids.  They all “get it.”  They know that we had to leave this week to attend court and to make it official.  They were fired up to hear Sofani’s voice.  We are blessed to have such wonderful parents, grandparents and friends.  We also appreciate the comments on Facebook.  When you’re half a world away, it is comforting to hear from folks back home – rooting us on and sharing with us in this love story. 

Some Things Are Universally Fun

Staci has taken over Buck's Blog with today's exciting update.  Here's her account of today's events:

Some things are universally fun:  SpongeBob, Arm-Wrestling, and Hitting Mom on
the Rear with a Ball When She Bends Over. - Staci Buck

So today, WOW.

1 year ago if someone would have told me I'd be on a plane without my kids from
Indianapolis-Ethiopia to build our family through adoption, I'd have said they
were crazy.  Oddly enough, yesterday I looked out of a plane at a vast desert
land and the huge meandering Nile and realized that somehow this seemed
perfectly sane.  For whatever reason, God picked us to be a family to a child I
didn't even know, but already loved, and we were no longer going to be separated
by thousands of miles. 

I can say I was just as nervous and excited as I was the last 3 times I met our
children.  I can say just as the birth of Avery, Jackson, and Anna was a love
story for Jason and me as it made us even more connected, so was this.  To land
in Ethiopia and see a sign with our names was surreal.  I think I was in shock
from lack of sleep and being 1/2 way around the world from our kids, but it all
came crashing in when I saw that sign.  This is REAL.  There really is an agency
in another time zone, in another world that knows we are coming; and they have
Sofani.  To add to the shock, we had been prepared to "not ask" for more time
than our allotted 3 day 2-3 hour visits.  The beautiful sign-holding lady
informed us that we would be staying at a different location due to an
overbooking and it was a 2 bedroom apartment.  We would be allowed to pick up
Sofani and keep him with us our entire time in Ethiopia!  I could not stop
smiling.  (And crying)

I can't say enough about the Ethiopian People.  From the first greeting (sign
holding lady), they were incredibly warm.  They make direct eye contact, have
huge smiles and grasp your hand or arm.  They introduce themselves by saying,
"My name is .... and it means....."  For that reason alone, I am glad we will be
changing Sofani's name back when we are in the States to his given name.  Names
are powerful here.  They are meaningful and people delight in your comments
about them.  With a generation of older people being wiped out, I am certain
these traditions with naming and meanings are even more precious.  So, after
court tomorrow, Sofani will become Sofani Jason Buck according to the law. 
Then, when he arrives in the states with us as a US citizen, we are permitted to
change it back.  Sofani Zenebe Gezahegn Buck our fourth Buck.  

Alemu, our Ethiopian representative from AAI, picked us up at 2:00pm to take us
to Jane's House, a transition home for children who have been identified and
placed with waiting families.  We drove through streets lined with people, a
herd of goats, tiny children walking without adults, and no traffic laws to
speak of.  There is a fine layer of dust and dirt everywhere on everything and
everyone.  We pulled up outside a gated house and Alemu honked and the gate was
opened.  Standing in the courtyard, before I even had time to grab my camera,
was Sofani.  He walked up to Jason and hugged him for a long time and kissed his
cheek, he then came to me and hugged me (for a shorter time).  He had a huge
smile and was very quiet.  His hands were shaking as he held the door for me and
I, of course, was crying.  He looked exactly like the pictures we had been sent
from other adoptive families recently, we sat next to each other on a couch and
he reached for Jason's hand and held it on and off all day.  He is so loving. 
He was speaks quietly and was delighted to show us that he can read English
well.  Our new son is a lefty (Grandma Nini and Uncle Pat finally have their
fellow - left hander) and incredibly artistic.  He ran to his room to show us a
journal that he had drawn animals, birds, abstract art, and people in.  I can't
imagine him having any formal education in art, but he even had a still life
drawing of fuit and a jar on a table that I swear is beyond his age. Proud Mama. 
He tells us he wants us to take his drawings back with us to give to the kids. 
I asked if he had a picture of his mother because I want to have it framed and
hung in our living room.  I don't want to pretend he didn't have loving parents
that were part of his life.  He brought out a book with about 7 photos of family
with pages worn. In it were 5 pictures of our family, too. This appeared to be
his only possession.  Alemu acted as translator for about 1/2hour and then asked
if we were ready to go to the hotel.  Sure!

We took a tour of Jane's house prior to leaving and learned there are 23
children living there including 3 sets of twins.  Sofani is the oldest child
ever adopted by our company from Ethiopia, so he obviously is the oldest, and
the youngest is almost 4 weeks old.  The nurse invited me in to see the rows of
babies in cribs and I don't know that I've ever seen such beautiful babies. 
Some of them smiled up at us, and some look shocked - probably because we don't
look Ethiopian- but I feigned mild interest.  I did not want Sofani to think for
a minute that we were in love with these babies.  He was OUR baby and even
though we couldn't communicate that through language yet, I was determined to
communicate it through body language.  Alemu suddenly ushered us out as he had
blocked a street with his car and we needed to go NOW!  We hurriedly said
goodbye to Sofani's friends, Meskereem and Hawi, two beautiful little girls
going to a home less than 2 hours from us in Ohio, and we were off!  Sofani
beamed from ear to ear as we walked out of the gates and got into Alemu's car. 
I gave him my phone full of video and pics of the kids and house and he poured
over these quietly, smiling all the while.  We soon learned that we didn't need
Alemu.  We were going to do just fine communicating.  He has this adorable way
of inhaling suddenly when in agreement with you and smiling - almost like a
gasp.  We arrived in the hotel and he took his first ride on an elevator, we
presume, and we were able to explain through facial expressions that Avery is
terrified of elevators.  He thought that was hysterical.   We showed him his
room and knelt on the floor beside the bed as he examined new clothes, a US
wooden puzzle, and legos.  He immediately put the new clothes on and I saw that
the bag he brought had PJ's and one other outfit, which we had mailed months
before.  His tennis shoes had someone else's name on the bottom.  This hit me
hard.  This child - OUR child - was wearing shoes cast off by some American
cleaning her closet.  They, well-meaningly, had ended up here, far away from
their home on an Ethiopian boy who had NOTHING to his name. 

The staff greeted Sofani warmly.  This country is so very young and they love
children.  Everyone gave him attention and one even spoke his native dialect,
which was a big help!  The staff insisted he see the pool, as they are very
proud of it and he immmediately wanted to swim.   Some of the staff peeked out
of the rooms they were cleaning giggling at us and murmurring, "Lucky, Lucky,"
as we walked down the hallway. 

After swimming, a dinner in an authentic Ethiopian restuarant, where we had
Sofani order for us, 2 games of UNO, a Tom and Jerry and Spongebob episode on
the computer, some WWE, which he loves, a taxi ride, room service, a lego
project, a lesson on the World and US maps about his new home, explanantions of
everything from a shower to hand sanitizer, arm wrestling, push-up contests, and
hitting me on the rear with a soccer ball as I bent to get into a suitcase, I'd
say this little boy reminds me so much of Jackson and other boys.  Some things
are universal. 

One of those universal things is LOVE and we will make certain he feels it and
knows it as we say prayers with our son tonight.  Thank you God for Avery,
Jackson, Anna and Sofani.

Back on Track

On Monday morning the phone rang.  I saw that it was the adoption agency calling from Michigan.  The court hearing that took place earlier in the day in Ethiopia had taken place and we were anxiously awaiting the results.  I took a deep breath and answered.  It was Sally.  “Good news,” she said.  I took a deep breath and let out a big “woo-hoo!”  The judge had approved Sofani’s case and had moved it to the second phase – our day in court to approve the adoption.

Evidentially the Judge read the letter Staci and I wrote her.  The letter not only detailed our plans to keep Sofani in touch with Liya, his biological sister in Texas; it explained how I met Sofani and how this was clearly God’s plan for our family.  At the end of the letter we threw out a request that may have appeared a bit bold, but we wanted to give it a shot while we had the Judge’s attention.  Here’s what we said:

“We would respectfully request that the courts do everything in their power to expedite the adoption process for Sofani to our family.  Sofani is older than the other children in the transition home and we’re certain that he was as disappointed as we were with the delay.  We are willing to do whatever it takes to bring Sofani to his new home in the United States.  We appreciate your consideration and thank you for the opportunity to make Sofani our son.”

What Sally told me next made me laugh.  The Judge set a court date for us next Wednesday.  

Luckily we have all of our documents ready to go.  Staci has been packing for weeks.  She even bought a new dress for court (of course).  We just booked our flights this morning. We’re leaving Sunday on a flight that will take us to Addis via Germany.  We are scheduled to arrive in Ethiopia Monday night and I’ll have the honor of introducing Staci to Sofani on Tuesday.   I can’t wait.

A Letter from Texas/Two Steps in Court

This has been a long week. 

When we set out to adopt Sofani people told us that there would be bumps on the road and that we would be frustrated because of the lack of control we would experience during the adoption process.  Since January things have been smooth sailing.  We hit our first bump last week and it felt like a pothole.  Let me explain what happened. 

There are two steps in the court proceedings in Ethiopia.  One is attended by the child’s closest relatives.  This happened last Thursday.  In Sofani’s case it was attended by his Aunt.  It’s also important to know that Sofani has a younger sister, Liya, that was adopted to a family in the U.S. about a year ago.  At last week’s hearing, the Judge wanted to know if Liya’s family wanted to adopt Sofani and keep the two siblings together.  As hard as this was to hear, we truly appreciate the Judge’s concern for the kids and held our breath as our agency worked to find Liya's parents.

Last Thursday and Friday seemed like a week.  Finally, on Friday evening, we heard from Sally (the caseworker from our agency).  She informed us that she tracked down Liya’s parents with the help of another agency and they weren't going to stand in our way.  They also said that they would be willing to write a letter to the Judge saying that they weren’t able to take Sofani and would work with us to keep Sofani and Liya in touch with one another once he was in the U.S.  We were thrilled.  We weren’t having any luck getting answers about Liya and her new family.  We’re grateful that the Judge asked the question and prompted the search that led us to this information.

Tonight we’re expecting to learn Liya’s parent’s names, their exact location and contact information.  At this point all that we know is that they live in Texas. 

Liya’s parent’s letter will accompany ours and will be given to the Judge at the family’s next hearing on Monday, May 14th.  We pray that the Judge accepts these letters and will assign a court date for the second step.  We also pray that the Judge will assign a court date for us during Monday’s proceedings.   This will mean that Staci and I will have a new travel date and can make arrangements to resume our plans and finally see Sofani.  We cannot wait.  It is difficult to think about anything else.

We put together a care package for Sofani that was shipped this morning.  He has a picture book with photos of our house, family, friends, aunts, uncles, church, school, etc.  Staci wrote descriptions under each picture so he could begin to visualize his new surroundings in Selma.  Staci also filled the box with a new outfit, Lego’s, candy and letters from each of us. 

Papaw Tom also installed the bunk bed system in Jackson and Sofani’s room.  I wish I would have had something like this in my fraternity house.  It’s unbelievable. 

We also learned that Sofani has become friends with two girls (sisters) ages 7 and 12 in the transition home in Addis.  Ironically, they’re going to be adopted to a family less than two hours from us in Ohio.  I made contact with them last night.  I’m happy that Sofani is going to have some friends to call and visit when he arrives.

If you’re praying for our new family to be united, please pray that the Judge accepts our documents, that we’re assigned a new court date very soon and for our son.  Sofani knows that we were delayed.  I have to think this was as disappointing for him as it was for us.  Please pray that Sofani remains hopeful and courageous.