So Much Fun

We are having so much fun. Sofani is fitting right in to our family.  His bright smile and contagious laugh have brought us so much joy over the past three weeks.

I’ll do my best to share some of the best stories thus far (and there have been plenty).

The kid can cook.  Who knew?  Sofani has prepared dinner for the entire family twice since his arrival.  He loves to make “spaget” (spaghetti) his own special way.  He carefully dices onions, tomatoes and adds oil and white pepper to make an incredible sauce.  He makes fruity drinks served in wine glasses and always insists on a “cheers” before everyone takes their first drink.  He drinks a café latte in the mornings with 3 teaspoons of sugar and will drink anything with mango (he loves it).  He has discovered McDonalds.  He loves cheeseburgers with ketchup only.  After church Sunday he began chanting, “Mick – dah – nodes, Mick – dah – nodes!”  Staci caved and took him.

He’s a quick study.  His English is improving every day and he’s getting private ESL instruction three times a week.  He’s nervous talking around people that he doesn’t know but is very expressive when he’s among people close to him.  He understands almost everything that we say and if he doesn’t we rephrase until we’re on the same page.

He learned how to swim in 3 days.  He went from drinking all of the water in the pool and choking every time he went underwater on day 1 to swimming the length of the pool underwater and doing back flips off of the diving board last week.  We joke that he may be the first Ethiopian diver in the Olympics.

We bought him an iPod and he’s quickly developing the dependence that every American has with their handheld devices.  He loves shopping at Target with his mom.  His Grandma Anita gave him $100 and he’s fascinated with what that can get him in the US.  He hasn’t spent it – he’s just very interested in knowing what it can buy.  He asked us how much it was to buy a goat last week. 

Sofani says, “How much goat?”

I asked, “Why, for a pet?” 

Sofani said, “No.”

I asked, “To eat the grass in the yard?”

Sofani replied, “No.  To eat.”

We laughed and promised to get him to an Ethiopian restaurant soon.

He is a hard worker.  He and I were in the garage two weeks ago and it was a mess.  Disorganized, dirty – it was definitely project that would have taken me an entire Saturday afternoon to complete.  I made some comment about how bad it looked and the next day while I was at work he pulled everything out of the garage, cleaned it, threw away trash and organized it to the point that we could easily get both cars in it.  He was very proud and I was very grateful.  It’s important for him to feel that he’s adding value to our family. 

He’s an entrepreneur at heart.  Back to his money… he asked if his $100 could buy him a hen.  We called Grandpa Tom (the only one in our family that would know how to access this information).  Tom said Sofani’s $100 could probably get him 2 hens.  Now Sofani wants to build a chicken coop and 2 hens so that he can sell eggs.  We haven’t worked through this yet.  Avery reminded him that it would be hard to go on vacation if we were chicken farmers!  It's just a reminder that in some way he knows that he must look out for himself and his own future.  He's dealt with enough loss in his young life to know that things can be taken from you very quickly.

Before he arrived we bought a used bike for him.  We had no idea if he could ride so we didn’t buy a new one.  Sofani took off right away – riding with no hands.  The kid could obviously handle a bike. My dad has made a tradition of buying our kids their first really nice bike, so we were holding out for Poppy to take Sofani to the bike shop in Marion when the time came.   Jackson and Avery have both been on the receiving end of Poppy’s bike purchase.  Last week Sofani was fed up with his used bike.  The kickstand is busted up, the bike is heavy and the gears often miss when as it shifts.  Sofani said, “This bike no good.  Jackson and Avery’s bikes very good.”  We knew it was time to make the trip to Marion.  Poppy spent the day with Sofani and Jackson.  They bought Sofani a new bike and rode around the trails in Marion all afternoon.  When he left he thanked my dad and bowed.  He was very grateful.  He loves his new bike.  He takes bike rides with Jackson and Avery on the trails at the park by our house every day.

It hasn’t been perfect, though.  Sofani got in trouble today.  He has recently figured out how to ride the mower around the yard and loves driving it as fast as it will go.  Staci took the key away from him today so he wouldn’t ride it unsupervised and he hotwired it and took it for a joyride.  Twice.  Staci took away his iPod and he begged and pleaded to have it back.  He said he was very, very sorry. We’ll see when he gets it back.  It’s hard to discipline him. 

Sofani was insistent to go to school when Avery, Jackson and Anna begin.  That wasn’t exactly our plan.  We thought he would stay home with Staci for the first semester and home school him while he became better acquainted with English.  He didn’t want anything to do with our plan so Staci met with the administration in our school system and they’ve mapped out a plan for him to be in Jackson’s class in the 5^th grade.  Being in the highest grade in the elementary school will probably be a great way to break him into the school system.  He’ll have one teacher for his core subjects and they’ll work to tailor some of the subjects to meet him where he is with the language barrier.  We’re so grateful to have such an awesome school system.  They know this is going to be a challenge and stretch them a bit, but they’re excited to give it a go.  We know we’ll have bumps along the way as he learns English.  It’s all part of the process.

Sofani has called his Aunt Meheret back in Mikelle each week since he’s been with us.  He lived with her prior to moving into the transition home in March.  We have a calling plan set up so that he can talk with her each week and catch up with her.  He loves his Aunt and we want to keep him in contact with her.  She is so happy for him, his new family and his future.  We want her to know how he’s doing and we’re committed to doing everything we can to keep him speaking his native language.  We don’t want him to lose it.

Every day he tells us a part of his story.  His story is his and not for everyone reading the blog; suffice it to say it is amazing. He is a survivor. God is using him and will continue to use him. We relish in these "talks" with him because we know he must trust us and want us to know about his life in Ethiopia. It is hard not to hover and see his reaction to everything and see if it will spark one of these moments of discussion about his past. We are making up for lost time getting to know him and it makes you want to sit and take it all in when he starts talking about his home.

On our way back from Ethiopia 3 weeks ago Staci and I began planning some sort of meet and greet at our house so people could come by and say hello to Sofani.  So many people have been following his story that we wanted to create an event so that people could stop by and meet this incredible kid.  We knew that there would be quite a bit of interest but we’re blown away by the response.  At present, we’re expecting around 250 people at our house on Saturday from 12-4 PM.  We are going to shuttle people back and forth from the parking lot at the park across the street from our house on golf carts so we’ll have enough parking.  Sofani understands that there will be a lot of people at the event.  He calls it his “nice to meet you.” 

I keep wondering if we’re going to experience some sort of meltdown when he says misses life in Ethiopia. Occasionally I’ll ask him if he thinks about it.  He always reacts the same way.  He says he loves it in America.  He loves his family and has no thoughts of ever going home.  I asked him yesterday if he ever thought he would return (after college, later in life, etc.).  He said, “No.  I’m happy.”  So are we.

If you would like to stop by the “Nice to Meet You” Open House on Saturday, please feel free.  Park at the Prairie Creek Beach parking lot and walk to our house or wait on a golf cart (7904 S 560 E Selma, IN). 



In addition, I wanted to post a poem that Avery wrote while we were in Ethiopia.  Avery is our 11 year old daughter that is mature beyond her years.  She heads off to middle school tomorrow morning.  I think you'll appreciate her perspective as she puts some of her observations from her time in Addis Ababa into a poem.  We're so proud of Avery.  We think she's going to change the world.

Avery writes this after spending an afternoon taxi ride in the pouring rain; beggars tapping the van windows saying "Sister! One!" for one Birr, (17 Birr = 1 Dollar) and they gesture to their mouth

to indicate one Birr for food.  Mothers, crippled, blind, and maybe most frightening to our kids were the children begging. 

Avery's Poem:

Poverty has called my name.

"Sister."
"One."

I have looked poverty straight in the eyes.
Cried their tears.
Bury my heart at the feet of he poor.
How many people have died on these streets?
Many hungry souls wander the dirt.
Live on the rocks.
Drink in the rain.
Starve.
Alone.
How many lives will it claim?
How many lives will these grounds swallow up?
Whole.
Half.
Gone.
While the rain washes over them.
Thinning the bone.
I can't see the roads;
the hurt.
Pain.
Blinds.
The blind hurt.
The deaf suffer.
The priveledged see with sightless eyes.
Hear with sound-stripped ears.
Speak with mute mouths.
The rain is like tears.
Shedding their sorrow.
Yellow eyes.
Empty eyes.
Long, haggard faces on mothers of infants.
"Take my child."
"One."
Loss of will.
Crying inside.
Huddles in blankets.
Skeletal feet peeking out.
My writing has bled.
Reopened old wounds.
For voicing the fears of the unheard.
"Once."

Thrilled to be Home

Where do I start?

Friday and Saturday were a blur with all of our flights from Addis to London to Philadelphia to Dayton.  We traveled for 32 hours striaght and were totally spent by the time we made it home last night.

First and foremost, we cleared customs and immigration in a matter of minutes in Philadelphia yesterday afternoon.  Sofani was fingerprinted (you could tell this was a first), processed and welcomed to the US. 

During our travel day we enjoyed observing his reaction to everything.  London Heathrow airport is enough to overwhelm anyone.  Sofani had his first encounter with escalators and people mover walkways.  The shops at the airport had him in awe – Burberry, Ted Baker of London, new book stores, etc.  It’s a far cry from the markets on the streets of Addis or Mikelle.  He wanted ice cream for dinner (only the second time he’s had it in his life).  How could I say “no?”  We ordered two scoops. 

He got into Staci’s SUV at the airport and was amazed at the TV in the vehicle.  We were going down the interstate and he pointed out the sunroof.  He stood up and stuck his head out of the car at 70 mph.  It was fun listening to him laugh as the wind blew his eyes shut and forced him back into the car.  We were hungry and we had to welcome him to America we had to stop by McDonalds.  He laughed as we talked to a box to order food and promptly devastated a cheeseburger and large fry with no problem.  McDonalds is universal – everyone loves it.

As we turned onto our road he knew we were close because he was following Staci’s navigation system the entire way home.   The excitement was palpable.  He was about to jump out of his skin.  We pulled onto our lane to find that our house had been decorated by our friends.  Welcome signs everywhere.  I’ve never felt so welcome at my own house (if that makes any sense).  I’m sure he felt the love as it clearly showed him how many people were ready to welcome him to our extended family and community.

My grandma, Joan, and Staci’s father, Tom were at the house when we arrived.  They were making the handoff with our 5-year old bundle of blond curls that we missed so much over the past week – our dear Anna.  (By the way – a HUGE “thank you” to my sister Julie and our family in Marion for watching Anna for the entire time we were away.  We owe you!)  Tom and Grandma Joan welcomed him with big hugs and kisses and he was very happy to meet his new sister.  Anna’s job was to show Sofani around the house and that’s what happened next. 

When I say we were blown away by our friends I mean it.  Blown away.  We were so exhausted that the love from our dear group of friends and family who weren't physically here to greet us easily turned into tears.  We could feel your presence.

There were signs everywhere from friends from our community – the staff at church, friends of ours, etc.  Bright, colorful signs welcoming Sofani to his new home and community.  I don’t know how many there are to be exact but they’re everywhere.  The refrigerator was stocked, supplies bought and the pantry was full.  We are so very grateful.  I can’t express how much it means to us to have so many wonderful friends and such a supportive family and community.

Sofani was excited to see his bunk bed which had been meticulously constructed by Paw Paw Tom and decorated by his new loving mother.  He has pictures of himself as a baby, his parents, his aunt, etc. (thank you to Kim, mother to Sofani’s sister Liya in Texas).  He loved his new room and was shocked when he opened the closet door to see all of the clothes.  His name was painted on the driveway on the basketball court along with Jackson’s (thank you to Chris Willis). 

Anna toured him throughout the house and he couldn’t stop smiling.  He couldn’t believe the fresh fruit, the full fridge, the big screen television and the pool.  He made a quick change of clothes and we were swimming until midnight.  Sofani is determined to figure out how to swim.  I think it will be a matter of hours before this happens. 

We finally tucked everyone in and said prayers around 1 AM.  We were exhausted.  Wonder when he woke up?  4 AM.  That’s right.  It was just like Christmas morning at the Buck’s house today.  He showered, went outside to ride his new bike, chasing Anna and Jackson around the house with a toy rifle, playing pool, ate a bowl of Fruit Loops and went out to the pier.  He woke Staci and me up at 7 AM.  Any other day I would have rolled over and begged for a few more minutes of sleep but I couldn’t do it.  He wants to go swimming.  He wants to go fishing.  He is thrilled to be here.  He cannot stop smiling and laughing.  It is the most excited I have ever seen anyone – hands down.

Now we are going to soak it all up. 

I cannot adequately express my sincere thanks to our family, friends, church and community throughout this process.  Never in our lives have Staci and I felt so much love and support.  We have meals coming every evening for the next couple of weeks from members of our church.  It’s unbelievable.  We are truly blessed.

What’s next?  This kid has more energy and interest in learning new things than Staci and I will be able to keep up with in the days and weeks to come.  If you’ve ever been one of those people that have said, “Let me know what I can do to help” – your time has come.  We’re going to take all of you up on that offer.  We need people to teach him how to fish, swim, play instruments (he’s a music lover for sure), paint, school prep activities, chase him around the yard, work on his jump shot (he’s a lefty), etc.  We will be more than happy to take you up on any/all offers.  

I'm being summoned to the pool.  Gotta go!