"He's All Yours"

We sat in a waiting room for the adoption hearing on Wednesday for what seemed like forever.  There  were a collection of people – mother’s that had given up their children, relatives of children in orphanages, social workers and around 10 other couples to gain approval for adoption much like us.  They started off calling all of the couples – everyone but us.  Then they called all of the family members and mothers.  We just sat there.  We were the last ones in the waiting room – Staci, Me, our two Social workers from AAI and Sofani.  Finally we were called into the court room to answer a series of questions and were given approval to make Sofani our fourth child.  At that moment the Judge signed the documents making it official. The Judge said, “He’s all yours.”  We were thrilled.  Months of anxiety finally resulted in the desired outcome.  He’s all ours.

We were incredibly blessed to be able to spend 3 full days with our new son.

He is the sweetest boy.   He latched onto me as soon as we met and we were virtually inseparable for three days.  It was so much fun to watch him bond with Staci, too.  She loves him as much as I do. 

Let me tell you a little bit about Sofani. 

He’s incredibly sweet.  He is the oldest kid of the 23 at “Jane’s” house (the transition home that he’s been living in for the past 2 months as part of the adoption process).  Nearly all of the children are infants.  He sleeps on a top bunk with his belongings proudly displayed, his clothes neatly folded at the foot of his bed.  He watches over the little ones at the orphanage and cares for them like they’re his family. 

We were in the market with him buying some souvenirs and gifts to take home on Thursday afternoon.  We had purchased bracelets for Avery and Anna the night before and we wanted Sofani to pick up a couple things for him to remember our visit by until we returned to pick him up in several weeks after our Embassy appointment (passport, visa, etc.).  He began shopping for Jackson.  The kid that had everything packed for 3 days with us in a plastic bag was shopping for his brother back in the states.  Unbelievable.

We were eating outside yesterday at our hotel and Staci had a fly land in her chicken salad.  She instinctively pushed her plate away as she watched the fly swim around in her salad for a few seconds.  Sofani immediately pushed his plate in front of her so that she would still have something to eat. 

He loves music and dancing.  We had dinner at our hotel and Sofani made his way over to a synthesizer in the corner of the room.  He began playing.  Not just playing but entertaining the room.  Making up songs and singing like he was on stage.  The staff at the hotel all loved him, so no one was about to make him stop.  Everyone just laughs.  His ever present smile is so disarming. It makes you melt.

We went outside the hotel to sit in the courtyard.  Someone was dejaying and playing Ethiopian music.  Sofani quickly sought them out, demanded that they play some Tigrenian music (his region of Ethiopia). He grabbed Staci and I and began showing us dance moves and singing the songs.  He laughed at us and we encouraged him to keep going.  He is full of personality.  He’s going to be very popular in Selma.

He’s smart.  Sofani figured our Staci’s iphone, camera and computer in minutes.  He gained confidence speaking English by the hour.  He had English in his school in Mikelle and can read it well considering it’s not his primary language.  He understands what we’re talking about and was able to have conversations with us, albeit a bit choppy, by the time we left on Thursday.  Learning English isn’t going to be a problem. 

We had such an amazing three days with Sofani.  We are filled with joy and know more than ever that this is God’s plan for our family.   I will be returning in a month or so to attend the Embassy appointment and take him home with us once and for all.  Leaving him Thursday night at the airport was so hard.  We cried all the way through check-in (thinking about it still makes me cry as I write this).  Sofani’s big smile turned to tears as he hugged and kissed Staci and me.  Walking away was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  I reminded Sofani – and I keep trying to remind myself – “I’ll be back as soon as I am able.  As soon as the paperwork is processed, I’ll be on the first plane to Addis to get you.”

There are so many stories to tell about our time in Ethiopia – definitely more entries to write.  First, I have to thank Staci – my partner on this journey.  Her support and willingness to make Sofani a part of our family go beyond words for me.  She is a wonderful woman and this entire process has pulled us closer together.  God has rewarded our marriage.  This been one of the best weeks of our lives.  I have to thank all of the friends and family that have helped with Avery, Jackson and Anna while we’ve been away.  We missed Avery’s “Terrific Kid” award ceremony for Selma Elementary and her 5^th grade graduation.  Staci and I were so encouraged to call home and talk with the kids.  They all “get it.”  They know that we had to leave this week to attend court and to make it official.  They were fired up to hear Sofani’s voice.  We are blessed to have such wonderful parents, grandparents and friends.  We also appreciate the comments on Facebook.  When you’re half a world away, it is comforting to hear from folks back home – rooting us on and sharing with us in this love story. 

Some Things Are Universally Fun

Staci has taken over Buck's Blog with today's exciting update.  Here's her account of today's events:

Some things are universally fun:  SpongeBob, Arm-Wrestling, and Hitting Mom on
the Rear with a Ball When She Bends Over. - Staci Buck

So today, WOW.

1 year ago if someone would have told me I'd be on a plane without my kids from
Indianapolis-Ethiopia to build our family through adoption, I'd have said they
were crazy.  Oddly enough, yesterday I looked out of a plane at a vast desert
land and the huge meandering Nile and realized that somehow this seemed
perfectly sane.  For whatever reason, God picked us to be a family to a child I
didn't even know, but already loved, and we were no longer going to be separated
by thousands of miles. 

I can say I was just as nervous and excited as I was the last 3 times I met our
children.  I can say just as the birth of Avery, Jackson, and Anna was a love
story for Jason and me as it made us even more connected, so was this.  To land
in Ethiopia and see a sign with our names was surreal.  I think I was in shock
from lack of sleep and being 1/2 way around the world from our kids, but it all
came crashing in when I saw that sign.  This is REAL.  There really is an agency
in another time zone, in another world that knows we are coming; and they have
Sofani.  To add to the shock, we had been prepared to "not ask" for more time
than our allotted 3 day 2-3 hour visits.  The beautiful sign-holding lady
informed us that we would be staying at a different location due to an
overbooking and it was a 2 bedroom apartment.  We would be allowed to pick up
Sofani and keep him with us our entire time in Ethiopia!  I could not stop
smiling.  (And crying)

I can't say enough about the Ethiopian People.  From the first greeting (sign
holding lady), they were incredibly warm.  They make direct eye contact, have
huge smiles and grasp your hand or arm.  They introduce themselves by saying,
"My name is .... and it means....."  For that reason alone, I am glad we will be
changing Sofani's name back when we are in the States to his given name.  Names
are powerful here.  They are meaningful and people delight in your comments
about them.  With a generation of older people being wiped out, I am certain
these traditions with naming and meanings are even more precious.  So, after
court tomorrow, Sofani will become Sofani Jason Buck according to the law. 
Then, when he arrives in the states with us as a US citizen, we are permitted to
change it back.  Sofani Zenebe Gezahegn Buck our fourth Buck.  

Alemu, our Ethiopian representative from AAI, picked us up at 2:00pm to take us
to Jane's House, a transition home for children who have been identified and
placed with waiting families.  We drove through streets lined with people, a
herd of goats, tiny children walking without adults, and no traffic laws to
speak of.  There is a fine layer of dust and dirt everywhere on everything and
everyone.  We pulled up outside a gated house and Alemu honked and the gate was
opened.  Standing in the courtyard, before I even had time to grab my camera,
was Sofani.  He walked up to Jason and hugged him for a long time and kissed his
cheek, he then came to me and hugged me (for a shorter time).  He had a huge
smile and was very quiet.  His hands were shaking as he held the door for me and
I, of course, was crying.  He looked exactly like the pictures we had been sent
from other adoptive families recently, we sat next to each other on a couch and
he reached for Jason's hand and held it on and off all day.  He is so loving. 
He was speaks quietly and was delighted to show us that he can read English
well.  Our new son is a lefty (Grandma Nini and Uncle Pat finally have their
fellow - left hander) and incredibly artistic.  He ran to his room to show us a
journal that he had drawn animals, birds, abstract art, and people in.  I can't
imagine him having any formal education in art, but he even had a still life
drawing of fuit and a jar on a table that I swear is beyond his age. Proud Mama. 
He tells us he wants us to take his drawings back with us to give to the kids. 
I asked if he had a picture of his mother because I want to have it framed and
hung in our living room.  I don't want to pretend he didn't have loving parents
that were part of his life.  He brought out a book with about 7 photos of family
with pages worn. In it were 5 pictures of our family, too. This appeared to be
his only possession.  Alemu acted as translator for about 1/2hour and then asked
if we were ready to go to the hotel.  Sure!

We took a tour of Jane's house prior to leaving and learned there are 23
children living there including 3 sets of twins.  Sofani is the oldest child
ever adopted by our company from Ethiopia, so he obviously is the oldest, and
the youngest is almost 4 weeks old.  The nurse invited me in to see the rows of
babies in cribs and I don't know that I've ever seen such beautiful babies. 
Some of them smiled up at us, and some look shocked - probably because we don't
look Ethiopian- but I feigned mild interest.  I did not want Sofani to think for
a minute that we were in love with these babies.  He was OUR baby and even
though we couldn't communicate that through language yet, I was determined to
communicate it through body language.  Alemu suddenly ushered us out as he had
blocked a street with his car and we needed to go NOW!  We hurriedly said
goodbye to Sofani's friends, Meskereem and Hawi, two beautiful little girls
going to a home less than 2 hours from us in Ohio, and we were off!  Sofani
beamed from ear to ear as we walked out of the gates and got into Alemu's car. 
I gave him my phone full of video and pics of the kids and house and he poured
over these quietly, smiling all the while.  We soon learned that we didn't need
Alemu.  We were going to do just fine communicating.  He has this adorable way
of inhaling suddenly when in agreement with you and smiling - almost like a
gasp.  We arrived in the hotel and he took his first ride on an elevator, we
presume, and we were able to explain through facial expressions that Avery is
terrified of elevators.  He thought that was hysterical.   We showed him his
room and knelt on the floor beside the bed as he examined new clothes, a US
wooden puzzle, and legos.  He immediately put the new clothes on and I saw that
the bag he brought had PJ's and one other outfit, which we had mailed months
before.  His tennis shoes had someone else's name on the bottom.  This hit me
hard.  This child - OUR child - was wearing shoes cast off by some American
cleaning her closet.  They, well-meaningly, had ended up here, far away from
their home on an Ethiopian boy who had NOTHING to his name. 

The staff greeted Sofani warmly.  This country is so very young and they love
children.  Everyone gave him attention and one even spoke his native dialect,
which was a big help!  The staff insisted he see the pool, as they are very
proud of it and he immmediately wanted to swim.   Some of the staff peeked out
of the rooms they were cleaning giggling at us and murmurring, "Lucky, Lucky,"
as we walked down the hallway. 

After swimming, a dinner in an authentic Ethiopian restuarant, where we had
Sofani order for us, 2 games of UNO, a Tom and Jerry and Spongebob episode on
the computer, some WWE, which he loves, a taxi ride, room service, a lego
project, a lesson on the World and US maps about his new home, explanantions of
everything from a shower to hand sanitizer, arm wrestling, push-up contests, and
hitting me on the rear with a soccer ball as I bent to get into a suitcase, I'd
say this little boy reminds me so much of Jackson and other boys.  Some things
are universal. 

One of those universal things is LOVE and we will make certain he feels it and
knows it as we say prayers with our son tonight.  Thank you God for Avery,
Jackson, Anna and Sofani.